worthless

i still havnt slept and im fed up i wish i felt worthy of anything i just spoke to a freind of mine who i havnt spoken to you in a long time and i could tell her anything and didi knew she could help me with out freaking out a judgeing me but he dosnt get it she thinks i can just feel worthy of anything she wants me to get tested for stds hiv aids but i dont wanna know if i have anything i dont care i could careless it dosnt matter he took my body sanity he mays well have my health as well it dosnt matter nothing matters to me any,ore how could it he was right if i mattered if i was worth aything someone would have come helped me they would have saved me for the tourture he put me though i screamed and cried and begged but nothing happened so id rather not know if he gave me anthing i just dont care i just want to stop thinking about him i feel like im repeating myself but i just i cant get him off my mind i cant function i cant breathe.im worthless im stupid im a slut i want it i asked for it.i want to die